Masculine Discipleship

Pastoral meetings have almost become synonymous with getting coffee. Two guys, drinking coffee and discussing the Bible or a book together. That is okay I guess. But there is a more fun and effective way to do discipleship with men.

A while back, I heard a pastor talk about masculine and feminine ways of doing discipleship. Face to face discipleship, he said was a feminine way. Men need side-by-side discipleship. Men need to do something together.

Looking in the Bible, I saw side by side discipleship all over the place. Jesus was teaching around fires, on walks, and as he and his buddies were fishing. I don’t know why “Meetings” became synonymous with coffee for me.

I wanted to give side-by-side discipleship a shot. My friend Brandon and I are going through a book together. Instead of coffee, I asked him if he had any projects he needed to do. I had several projects on my list and both of our wives had their lists for us as well. I asked him if we could discuss our book while we work on projects together. One week we would work on his list, next week mine. He liked the idea.

I had been meeting with another friend for a couple of years. We met at McDonald’s to discuss the Bible and our lives as Christian men. It was face to face discipleship. And it was boring! Starting last week, we met at a local park to go fishing together instead. One hour of fishing together provided a way better way for us to do discipleship! It also happens to be a lot more fun than sipping on coffee together!

I am only a few months into side-by-side discipleship. But I can already report, it is way more effective. What would side-by-side discipleship look like for you? If you are going to be a life-long discipler of men, it may be time to ditch the coffee and pick up the fishing pole! Or something else. And if you stick with coffee, at least drink it black.


2 thoughts on “Masculine Discipleship”

  1. Jared,

    I have found this to be true as well. I’m taking a group of guys elk hunting, and through that process we have worked on hunting gear, and practiced shooting. That’s all before we spend a week together in the back country. Been also working taking guys fishing, drinking whisky, cooking meat, shooting guns, and other stuff that men actually enjoy doing. Historically, it seems as if small groups of men would often gather in pubs to bond in friendship (like the inklings). Something to think on.

    In Christ,


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